Friday, December 16, 2011

How it all Began

courtesy of

It's been about 6 months since Obstructed Views has started.  The whole concept came from Kyle and I doing recaps for our fantasy football leagues.  In the recaps we obviously recap the games, bust some balls and just have a good time.  I've been doing recaps in my Philly League for 10 years.  Everyone Most people in the league love them.  In fact when I don't post them on time, people get their panties in a bunch.  

For a change of pace I thought I'd post an example of what we do.  Obviously you won't get the some of the inside jokes or the names but it's a good example.  Also, Kyle and I have talked and we have decided that for a small fee, you could have us do your league's recaps......  just saying......

Divisional Playoff weekend is in the books.  Gay squared has his sights set on the coveted toilet bowl title, while the commish and the defending chump are both still alive for a repeat.  The Crackers continue to suck while it appears that Jake’s luck picked the absolute wrong time to reappear.  Let’s see how it happened?

In game 1 of the Least Division Tournament the reeling Crackers took on the disappointed Towels.  The Crackers came into to this season with a lot of hype while the Towels were looking to build on their Super Bowl trip last year.  Both teams blew it.  Not sure how much effort the Crackers put in as the newly crowned Most Sucky Barbounis Brother 2011 crushed the Crackers 111-57 in our game of the WEAK.  Tony Homo led the way for the good doctor while David “Shady” Akers led the way for the Crack Pack. The Crackers appear set to clinch their 2nd straight 10th place finish.  Who would be their opponent?

In game 2 of the LDT Ray took on Jay in the Squared Bowl.  In a game that went down to the wire, Ray Squared defeated Jay Squared 101-91 as Dez “I ain’t carrying shit” Bryant’s Monday night heroics were not enough to lift the Brawlers.  Ray Ray was led by The Polish Prince, Rob Gronkowski.  As usual Pert Plus Brady led the Brawlers.  The Rides are looking for a toilet bowl title.  For most teams the toilet bowl is a disappointment but for the 2011 Rides it’s an accomplishment.  They are looking to build for 2012 after a horrible start in 2011.  The Sportsline All-stars meanwhile are looking to forget 2011 after the draft night, Hurricane Irene, Honeymoon debacle. The Brawlers would love nothing else than to defeat their hated rivals the Crackers and make Jimbo finish dead last again.

In our first divisional game the Finest took on the Least Sucky Barbounis Brother.  The All-stars struggled all year and snuck into the playoffs at the last minute while the commish lurked all season.  The commish proved to be the superior team, defeating V Funk 124-71.  Perhaps winning Barbounis Bowl 2011 took too much out but other than Eli “I’m the best” Manning nobody showed up for the All-stars.  The commish meanwhile had an all around team effort led by Cam “Fig” Newton.  The commish moves on while Vasili is playing for 5th place.

In our game of the WEEK and second divisional game the Snake Bites took on the defending chump.  This game lived up to the hype.  The skins who were left for dead earlier this year may have been the hottest team heading into the playoffs.  Mikey Miss’s sidekick may have been the coldest team (other than the Crack Pack of course).  Skins win right? Not so fast my friend.  Led by all world running back MJD the chump defeated the skins 125-112.  Phillip “Cry me a” Rivers, Larry “I wish I wouldn’t have asked for Kevin Kolb” Fitzgerald and Ray “red beans and” Rice couldn’t lead the way for the skins as CJ2K11 shit the bed in the biggest game of the year.  It appears Jake’s luck is back.

Let’s look at Conference Championship week.  First in the Toilet Bowl (least division tourney) the Crackers and Sportsline All-Stars battle for 9th place (a.k.a we’re not the worst!).  The 2 teams split during the regular season and the all-time series is tied at 10.  The Crackers have choked all year, no reason to think this game is any different.  The Brawlers win the game of the WEAK.

In the Toilet Bowl Title Game, last year’s runner up takes on the resurgent Astro Glides.  The teams split during the regular season but the good doctor leads all-time 8-5.  Both teams are coming in hot.  The Rides are looking to build some momentum for 2012. The good doctor is like a bubble team that gets sent to the NIT.  They come out flat and the Rides clinch 7th place.

In our 5th place game the Skins look to take out their frustration on the V Funk All-Stars.  It will be hard for both teams to get up for this one.  The skins hammered V Funk back in week 10.  The snake skins lead all-time 15-3-1 in what is hands down the most lopsided rivalry in league history.  Jake wins.

Not it’s time for the big boy games.  In division championship game 1, the commish takes on Captain Cupcake.  Amazingly the chubby one was well behaved over the bye week.  Rev Twinkie is praying for a healthy Purple Jesus.  San Diego defeated the Busters in a shootout just 2 weeks ago.  (remember manningham gate?)  The commish leads all-time 13-4 in what is the 2nd most lopsided rivalry in league history.  Do I smell an upset?  Scotty is the least division’s last hope.  Purple Jesus explodes. Upset city baby!

In our game of the WEEK, everyone’s favorite radio star takes on everyone’s favorite owner of the basement we have the draft in for the 3rd time this season.  The 2 teams split in the regular season and the Queers lead all-time 8-7.  The Beers are the new kids on the block while Marks would love nothing but cap off a year of a new home and new contract with the first ever back to back championships.  Beers win and take a shot at the title. 

Now it’s time for the world famous, often imitated but never duplicated, Philly League Power Rankings. This week’s power rankings are brought to you by your local Lexus dealer.  The Beers, JMTS, San Diego's Finest and Busters hope this is a December to remember.

1. Beers – Hoping for a speedy recover from Andre Beast Johnson.  

2. San Diego’s Finest– Looking to make an unprecedented 6th Super Bowl Appearance (2-3)

3. BallzBusters – Can Scotty represent the weak least division?  Win and maybe you can move up to east division next year?

4. JMTS– Had the Eye of the Tiger last week.  Never count out the heart of a champion…just ask the Schnide.

5. Snake Skins – Just another middle of the pack finish.  At least the Skins will have a shot at a better draft pick next year.
6. V Funk All-Stars – Hey at least you're getting married?....  Well at least you’re the least sucky barbounis brother.
7. Terrible Towels – Looking for a Toilet Bowl title but after last season, 2011 is an Epic Fail
8. Mustache Rides—Would love to put some momentum together for 2012…only to fuck it up on draft day for “the guy with the cool sounding name”
9. Iron City Brawlers – Can’t wait to knock off hated rival the Crackers.  2012 can’t come soon enough…by the way, how is Big Ben’s foot?
10. Philadelphia CoalCrackers – Uh?  Maybe spend the off-season preparing for the draft instead of creating blogs and thinking of lame nicknames for NFL players?

There you have.  When we meet again Philly Bowl 2011 will be set.  What rule changes should be made for next year?  Be sure to vote in the poll regarding Flex positioning.  Until next time this is Jimbo saying, at least I’m still alive in my “other” league.

1 comment:

  1. I love the fact you put this out there. well Done.